Fans of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy will recall the strange story of Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged.  Listed by the Guide as one of the universe’s very small groups of immortal beings, Wowbagger determines that the best best way to live out his infinite days is to pop around and insult every sentient being in the universe.

In alphabetical order.

Should I find myself similarly cursed with infinite existence, I think that, instead of insulting everyone in the universe, that I would turn my attention toward coming up with jokes whose punchlines are puns on well-known names and sayings. For example:

  • His Bach is worse than his bite.
  • I left my harp in Sam Frank’s disco.
  • Felonious Monk

It’s hardly a noble pursuit. But diverting enough to keep one occupied for bleak centuries without end? Probably so.