So. Many. Spoons.After unloading the dishwasher and finding a true train wreck in the silverware drawer, I pulled all of them out to see if spoons support this hypothesis:

As the length of time you’re married increased, so too does the number of spoons you own, but the number of them that match declines in equal measure.

The counting and sorting ensued. 32 total objects that answer to the name of “spoon.” It’s when you begin sorting that fascinating disturbing patterns emerge.


  • 19 combinations of pattern and size
  • 13 different patterns
  • 14 spoons had no matches at all
  • 4 soup spoons match each other, but have only 2 matching teaspoons

We have achieved Instagram-influencer level of whimsical shabby-chicness (“Mix and match your flatware! It adds an element of fun and surprise to the dinner table!“).